The most polarizing of guest blogs was that of Garth Windham-Price. Garth's main theme was that of maintaining American sovereignty, but feared that a combination of Islamo-fascism and the lemming rush of Mexican and Central Americans across the border threatened the said sovereignty. His solution was to return to a civil anarchy that expanded the American frontier and bonded like minded (and yes mostly Anglo Saxon people) to preserve their republic. Nonetheless, here are some responses to Windham-Price's essay:
Where does that English bastard get off telling us how to run our country. I notised he took great joy in the supposed revenje we were getting for kicking their ass in the Revolootionary war. Also the limey bastard needs to learn how to spell--"defence" and "colour"? Don't they have spell check in England. Prolly not since we had to pull there ass out of WWII.
Donny Ray Powers
Shiner, TX
Donny, Please read the blog again as I think you will see Garth is very sympathetic to the United States. Another response to this article had a different style but the bile was evident.
Windham-Price has long written for the horrible rag UK VU and now is spreading is mindless drivel across the pond to the United States. It is clear that he has never left the Punk Rock mind-set of the late 1970's. For "As Above So Below" to actually allow the title of Windham-Price "Never Mind the Bollocks" to appear into up to now, an intellectual and stimulating blog has lowered my opinion and eradicated my need to read this blog any longer. I know many Americans do not know what bollocks or wankers are, but please do some fact checking, it is bloody disgusting.
Montrose Python Kingston
London, UK
Finally, this response was the most cryptic or confusing of all of Wyndham-Price's feedback, but I thought I would include it just in case some of our fellow bloggers could help explain what Dr. Peabody was writing about.
Garth Wyndham-Price has just laid out the ultimate plan to save the United States. The influx of Hispanic workers is spurred on by the economic opportunities that this great country offers. If the United States regressed to a tribal cooperative civil anarchy and pulled back from the manufacturing metropolises the desire for the invasion from the Mexico and Central America would soon decrease.
This course of action would need to be guided by a secret shadow government that would guide the plan of action and once the Latino horde returns to their native home, we would resurrect our great Nation as a Phoenix from the desert.
Also, Windham-Price's final quotes of Jefferson, Locke, and Johnny Rotten should be appended to the new Declaration of Independence.
Dr. Sherman Peabody
University of Berkley
Berkley, CA
Flatulence Quarterly Article, by Fred Rancid
This was perhaps the most popular contribution made during my absence. I wish I could print all the emails I received concerning Mr. Rancid's insightful, entertaining and frankly educational article. Here are a few of the best comments:
As a native Chicagoan, I completely agree with your assessment of Belushi and Murray's farting talent. Likewise, I agree that Chris Farley may have had the most potential. His being from Wisconsin gave him access to quality cheese, brat and of course beer. It is sad that both Belushi and Farley passed before their prime. Did Jim Belushi inherit any of his brothers prowess? Likewise, what about John Candy--he seemed custom built for world class wind breaking.
Niki Bratlavski
Elk Grove, IL
Editor comment: It is said Jim Belushi never had the talent or the interest in following in his brothers feortan footsteps. Also, there are rumors that John Candy had enormous expulsions with extremely fragrant peaks of garlic, balsamic vinegar, and a smoky sausage essence that was influenced by premium cigars. However, because of Candy's Canadian properness and sensibility very few witnessed his masterful work.
I'm sure that the SNL boys of the '70's did some great fart work, but your east coast bias is evident in your article Mr. Rancid. At your convenience, I suggest you come to the south, especially Texas, and witness a BBQ party that we throw from time to time. Picture barbecued beef(not the pork shoulders of deep south), massive quantities of pinto beans, cole slaw (raw cabbage), sweet potatoes, and normally a couple kegs of Lone Star beer. Lone Star beer is really sorry beer, but you talk about creating the creme de la creme of gaseous expulsions there is nothing better. So, if you want to see how real "Divine Wind" is created come on down to Bugtussle.
TJ McCormick
Bugtussle, TX
Fred Rancid response: TJ while gaseous explosions does not a quality fart make, I do believe that you may have a wonderful combination for a multi-layered olfactory experience. Where the hell is Bugtussle.
How did this magazine come into existence. To equate the pallet usage and verbiage of quality wine is blasphemous and disgusting. I highly protest the indulgence and enjoyment of flatulence as one would a quality wine.
Julio Gallo
Modesto, CA
Fred Rancid replied: What does Julio Gallo know about quality wine?
Another blog that received some attention was entitled "Guilty "Gonzo" Bloggers Killed Hunter S. Thompson -- a look back". Just a warning I think some bloggers have ADD and barely make it past the title of the article, so I received many responses that my article was historically inaccurate. Yes, I know that--it's called PARODY, look it up and try using it some time, rather than describing what a bummer day because Jennifer did not hold your hand walking home with you from Junior High. However, there were some informed and interesting responses which I will post below:
I had a hard time getting through the first three paragraphs of your testament to Hunter S. Thompson. However, when I read that D.A. Blylerly claimed Thompson was a great writer, but not always a great journalist I quickly became very interested in what you had to say---even though your overuse of quotations, parenthetical statements were very cumbersome. I did see the parody and analogy you were making between traditional journalism and that of the Thompson-style journalism, call it Gonzo or otherwise.
One point Blylerly made is taking coke, Quaaludes, and tequila does not a writer make. But there are many quality bloggers that use the gonzo style that are entertaining, informative, and quickly surpassing the relevance of the "Old Media". Keep up the good work!
D. Rather
NYC, NY
The quotations and parenthetical statements "are" a new "style" of writing that should change (the written "media"--Just as Thompson used (Gonzo) to "create" his own ("voice").
I was abhorred at the Hunter Thompson article the was published in "As Above so Below". So called, Gonzo, journalism breaks every rule in proper journalistic guidelines. One does not interject their personality into a story, but simply reports on what occurs. If a quote is made to one, it is permissible to state that when this reporter asked Mr. SOandSo, his response was "SoandSo". Never should one interject their own personal experiences into a true journalistic article. Likewise, concerning the new style that the writer Victor was trying to establish by the overuse of quotation marks, parenthesis and other non-sensible punctuations it was a travesty to the proper English language. Please refrain from posting any inane and ridiculous articles.
Ms. Fishlitz
8th Grade English
Bismark, ND
Hey Dude,
I've had three articles published in Times, GQ, and National Review while I was completely blasted on peyote. Also, I really dig your new style of punctuation, it really stresses the godness of certain word forms, but also the triteness of some of the establishments code-forms.
Trow Price
Malibu, Beach
"The View from the Dark" was one of the most polarizing blogs written by yours truly. I had visceral emotions about Rosie O'Donnell's bigotry of the Catholic faith, complete disdain for innocent fetal life and all around mistaken self-assurance of her policies and ideas (one example is her Doctor told her to let a dog lick her baby's baby rash and it would clear it up, perhaps it did but now her baby has bortatella). Their is room for disagreement and debate, but out-yelling ones associates is unprofessional and a sign of insecurity. But let us see what you had to say:
When I began to read your article View from the Dark I had the belief that you would treat the Rosie/Donald feud fairly. But it took little time for you to belittle Rosie and her God given views about the Separation of Church and State, the Women's Right to Choose and Gay Marriage. It is obvious you are a bigoted right-wing fundamentalist Christian that has no compassion for diverse lifestyles and views.
Regina Mung
Seattle, WA
Regina, The only problem I have with Gay Marriage is without Heteros pro-creating the human race will soon die off. Combine that with Rosie's rabid support of late term abortion the gene pool is swiftly dwindling. Rosie can have her opinion of the Separation of Church and State, but there is this document called the Constitution that refutes her "opinion". Finally, her bigotry against catholics is an attitude that would have kept one of our greatest presidents out of office, John F. Kennedy. For the record, I am a deist and a free market anarchist and would suggest that my views are much more diverse than your lock step lesbian agenda. By the way call me closed minded but I do have a problem sucking the brains out of a viable 8 month old baby over a matter of inconvenience. Why don't you lesbos step up and adopt the late term abortion candidates and show you really are compassionate. Sorry for the ramble.
Rosie is a true American hero and those that cannot understand her message simply do not have an IQ to comprend her mesage.
Lucia K.
Santa Rosa, CA
Thanks for the input Lucia. I have a 140 IQ not huge but above average. Also I think the words in your last line are spelled "comprehend" and "message". Glad to help.
Is it true that Rosie got her start in the circus as "Giganto the Girl with the Planet Sized Head"? What is her talent and why do they wast air time on this hachza?
Shlomo G
Brooklyn, NY
"Pantheistic-Monotheism or the End of the World as We Know It"
I received several responses from biblical "experts" that explained some of the more cryptic scriptures of which I wanted understanding.
Son your translation of Rev. 12 v18:19 must have come from the New American Standard version. It should read " God begins Armageddon with quaking of the earth, all creatures snakes and birds and flying meteorites, but the chosen of God Lemeal Brucelum has no fear" It is quit clear that St. John did not know what an aeroplane was in 100 AD.
Father Seamus O'Brien
Victor, Your translation of Ezekiel 48:38 is close but it was not a continental divide that drifted, but rather a complete disintegration of a mountain range in Modern Day Iraq. Leonard Bernstein was in fact the charismatic Lion of Judea that led the Jews from captivity.
Reverend OJ Creed
I am pleased to see that you are following the true light of being. There are many paths to enlightenment and once one realizes this enlightenment will follow. One issue, as a student of the Bhodi Satva, Buddha, I have never found a scripture where he says," It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine....fine."
Gupta Shwarmwandva
Call it blasphemy but every scripture I listed and the quote from Buddha was from selected verses from the REM song "End of the World as We Know It". I in know means meant to demean any religion as I think they all merge from an original source. What I have little patience for are the self-serving, know-it-all, "men of god" that take it upon themselves to share their knowledge with us about what God really meant. My one regret is using the Buddha quote as it does seem something he might say. Gupta I hope you are not scouring the writings to find this verse.
"Dawning of the New Aeon, the Age of Aquarius, Islamic World Rule and Crappy has been Stars Wasting Primetime and the Man Responsible for All of it"--This essay was all over the place but in the end all points were connected and actually a rather intelligent argument for why the Islama-Fascist have such hatred for our culture. What was amusing to me was the selective portions that the readers concentrated upon and the vehement comments I received.
Neo-Chamberlain response to Lebanon. You bleeding wanker do you want to blow up the whole middle east? Damn Yanks no idea about world diplomacy.
Winston Marburry III
Your supposition that Crowley was the impetus to the beginning of the Islamic Jihad has merit. Crowley was the beast and called himself "666". As Satanist he may have set in motion the end of the world with his magic conjurations. Only prayer and devotion to the Most Holy Christ can save us from this diabolical minion of Lucifer.
Reverend Jack Imperson Whatley
Hey Man, I had know idea this Crowley guy was turning on in the 1920's. Sabbath and Zeppelin wrote songs about this guy? How did I not know about him. Sounds like a true visionary.
Fried and Happy
Kevin S.
Your contention that Crowley was not a Satanist is debunked by many publications of his time. He was deeply involved in magic, or Magick as he called it. He devotd much of his life to invoking and evoking demonic spirits to do his bidding. This goes directly against the teachings of the Holy Bible and assuredly Crowley is burning in hell.
Agatha Wellington Morningstar
Sussex on Kent
Agatha, There is no doubt that Crowley was a magician and did conjure and converse with spirits but he did not worship Satan nor was he ever a member of the Church of Satan. The Shamans in South America routinely speak to supernatural entities with no knowledge of Satan. If you would like a little project count how many times Satan's name appears in the bible. I think you would be surprised to find out Satan was a 4th century AD creation.
I'm confused Crowley associated himself with "666" the beast, but you claim he is not a Satanist. Then you say his credo is, "Do what thy willt shall be the whole of the Law". This seems like pure hedonistic depravity.
Matt Foley
Madison, WI
Matt, You make some really good points. Crowley was raised as strict Plymouth Brethren. The only book he was allowed to read while growing up was the bible. He was especially enamored with Revelations--as a form of rebellion he claimed to the beast whose number was 666. Concerning his credo it meant find your passion and do what ever it takes to be good at that passion. Now that could seem rather brutal but he had an addendum to his credo, "Love under will, Love under the Law." So, find your passion do all that you can to become good at it as long as you stay within the law and do it in a moral fashion. Concerning the hedonistic depravity, yes there was some, but compared to the communes in the late 1960's and 1970's Crowley depravity would be rated PG13.
I find your comparison of the deviant Crowley to our noble founding fathers a disgrace. And proves you have a complete lack of history. Our founding fathers believed in freedom and rights that none could revoke. Crowley degraded his magical partners into all forms of deviant acts.
Dr.JK Smithingstonville
Dr., Crowley believed that everyman had the right to pursue his or her happines. No authority has the right to stop man from pursuing his happines. True Crowley pursued his happiness by imbibing in drugs, which were not illegal at the time, and magical incantations, but the general philosophy of Crowley's Libertarian views are much in line with our founding fathers, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness--(Thomas Jefferson). Also you may want to investigate Benjamin Franklin's membership in the Hellfire Club when he was in England. The founding fathers had a philosophy personal freedom that no man could negate just as Crowley did. Likewise, many of the founding fathers, as Crowley, were libertines.
Hey Props on calling Mark Burnett the anti-christ. Crowley, Anton Lavey, Hitler pale in comparison to anybody that promoted Clay Aikens. He is Belzebub incarnate. Keep up the good work.
DJ Stokes
Ventura, CA
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