When the Plymouth Brethren came to America they just wanted to be left the Frig alone. They had their way of worshiping and that is how they wanted to do it. This sentiment made it into the founding doctrines of our country. The most misunderstood is the separation of church and state. It is now believed that anything having to do with religion in public schools, governmental buildings our state colleges cannot be tolerated.
This view of the separation of church and state is complete crap and for the final time I will tell you why. In Europe and England there were state mandated religions, so in our new republic the founding fathers set up a barrier to inhibit government mandating a certain religion. Mainly, they were concerned with Catholicism, Calvinism or Lutheranism being mandated. Many of the founding fathers were Deists so in the technical sense not even Christian, but they were well aware of what could happen if the titular head of the government was also the grand poohbah of the state mandated religion. They had 1700 years of history to bear out the holocaust that could occur.
Now we are facing a religious holocaust brought on by those who want to be tolerant of a religion that has sects that are extremely intolerant. It is now in vogue to celebrate Ramadan in our public schools as an exercise in world culture and tolerance. This pig scheist is in direct contradiction of the incorrect version of the separation of church and state. If the incorrect version of the separation of church and state is to be enforced, Ramadan, nor other Islamic teachings should be allowed to be discussed in public schools. Why this is happening may be because of the perceived backlash of anti-Arabic/Muslim sentiments after 9/11. Nonetheless, the rule of law must be upheld, even if it is incorrectly enforced.
A more enlightened and multicultural approach would to spend two semesters on all world religions, INCLUDING CHRISTIANITY! As a student of comparative religions I have found that while the mythos may differ, most of the precepts of law and treatment of mankind are very similar. Even many of the martyrs of the Christos' are strikingly similar. Witness the crucifixion of Krishna from Hindu fame and that of Jesus Christ. While separated by thousands of years the allegory of the sacrifice of one for the providence of the many resonates today. Witness, the Hari Krishna's mobbing one at the airport and the Jehovah Witnesses mobbing one at ones house.
If we are not going to enforce the separation of church and state as originally intended can we at least do away with the religious bigotry of the educational politicos. More importantly, besides the tolerance one would learn from the study of world religions, perhaps many of our children would find peace and enlightenment in a particular religion. This may result in a reduction of drug abuse, abortions, teen violence and the basic ennui of most teens of generations of all ages.
This essay was not to be meant as a slam on Islam, at least the peaceful adherents of Islam, but rather the closed minded school administrators whose idea of thinking out of the box is trying on the new pair of Nike Shox.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
US GAS Rolls On
Response Editorial by: Fred Rancid
I am upset and perturbed by Wyndham-Price's response to my proposal to the USOC, since it has not been formally proposed for competitive flatulence to be included in the Olympic Games. I do feel betrayed or should I say back stabbed, but if I would have been more prepared for a flatulent outburst I doubt that Wyndham-Price's stooge could have ever leaked my plan.
Yes, I think the United States could have supremacy in competitive flatulence, but not because we are the United States, but because we are a nation of immigrants made up of many habits, diets, and flatulent capacities. Simply, farting is not expelling stinky gas with a bit of musical chamber, but, more of an art where one must expel, insinuate and inspire in one act of intestinal and rectal art.
If competitive flatulence is allowed into the Olympics only for volume of timber, or quality of stench then competitive flatulence is not worth being an art of the Olympics. Competitive Flatulence is more about wine tasting and competitive gymnastics. Imagine Nadia Comenici doing a perfect dismount while urinating a "1967 Cote de Beaunne-Villages" in a shot glass while not dropping a spot outside the dismount area.
It is not about blowing wind, or letting fly with massive stench; it is about letting the eternal wind loose while one honors the flavors, scents and manifestations of Gaiea. My vision of competitive flatulence is beauty, while I fear the world's is destructive bombardment. If that is the case, the world is not ready, nor sophisticated enough to handle true appreciation of the flatulent art.
I am upset and perturbed by Wyndham-Price's response to my proposal to the USOC, since it has not been formally proposed for competitive flatulence to be included in the Olympic Games. I do feel betrayed or should I say back stabbed, but if I would have been more prepared for a flatulent outburst I doubt that Wyndham-Price's stooge could have ever leaked my plan.
Yes, I think the United States could have supremacy in competitive flatulence, but not because we are the United States, but because we are a nation of immigrants made up of many habits, diets, and flatulent capacities. Simply, farting is not expelling stinky gas with a bit of musical chamber, but, more of an art where one must expel, insinuate and inspire in one act of intestinal and rectal art.
If competitive flatulence is allowed into the Olympics only for volume of timber, or quality of stench then competitive flatulence is not worth being an art of the Olympics. Competitive Flatulence is more about wine tasting and competitive gymnastics. Imagine Nadia Comenici doing a perfect dismount while urinating a "1967 Cote de Beaunne-Villages" in a shot glass while not dropping a spot outside the dismount area.
It is not about blowing wind, or letting fly with massive stench; it is about letting the eternal wind loose while one honors the flavors, scents and manifestations of Gaiea. My vision of competitive flatulence is beauty, while I fear the world's is destructive bombardment. If that is the case, the world is not ready, nor sophisticated enough to handle true appreciation of the flatulent art.
Competitive Flatulence in the Olympics
Special Editorial from Garth Wyndham-Price
I have heard from the centre of "As Above so Below" that there is a movement to include competitive flatulence in the Olympics. It is my understanding that Fred Rancid is the main colour bearer of this movement. It is understandable that the United States would look for another sport in which they could prevail.
Most in the free world will not dispute that the 1972 U.S. Olympic basketball team received the green weenie in the Gold medal match. However, Mr. Rancid and the USOC, especially should tread carefully when they think they can dominate the world Farting Competition. Witness only the Eastern bloc Europeans whose sole diet is sauerkraut and blood sausage of Pygmy donkeys. Flatulence in these countries is not an interesting pastime, but a biological need of survival. Gats man, have you ever tried to pass a pygmy donkey hove.
Likewise, it is my perception that Mr. Rancid has forgotten his friends to the south. Oh yes, there are the Mexicans who mainly live on rice and beans, but that is Holy Water compared to the Haitians whose main diet is lava rocks and beaks of sacrificed voodoo chickens. Let us not forget the Jamaicans, their diet is quite healthful, but their consumption of ganja and magic mushrooms allows them to mystically expel the pent up frustrations of their ancestors.
I am an Anglophile, I believe our Scottish friends could compete. Lord knows the Irish would blow the perfect storm just to piss in the Queens face, but do we-- the UK and the US have the talent to overcome those that are forced, by their natural surroundings, have the ability to overcome that with our training and nutritional supplementation. I think not.
I have heard from the centre of "As Above so Below" that there is a movement to include competitive flatulence in the Olympics. It is my understanding that Fred Rancid is the main colour bearer of this movement. It is understandable that the United States would look for another sport in which they could prevail.
Most in the free world will not dispute that the 1972 U.S. Olympic basketball team received the green weenie in the Gold medal match. However, Mr. Rancid and the USOC, especially should tread carefully when they think they can dominate the world Farting Competition. Witness only the Eastern bloc Europeans whose sole diet is sauerkraut and blood sausage of Pygmy donkeys. Flatulence in these countries is not an interesting pastime, but a biological need of survival. Gats man, have you ever tried to pass a pygmy donkey hove.
Likewise, it is my perception that Mr. Rancid has forgotten his friends to the south. Oh yes, there are the Mexicans who mainly live on rice and beans, but that is Holy Water compared to the Haitians whose main diet is lava rocks and beaks of sacrificed voodoo chickens. Let us not forget the Jamaicans, their diet is quite healthful, but their consumption of ganja and magic mushrooms allows them to mystically expel the pent up frustrations of their ancestors.
I am an Anglophile, I believe our Scottish friends could compete. Lord knows the Irish would blow the perfect storm just to piss in the Queens face, but do we-- the UK and the US have the talent to overcome those that are forced, by their natural surroundings, have the ability to overcome that with our training and nutritional supplementation. I think not.
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