Marketing Religion

I live in a community where the Evangelists, ministers, preacher and others of the sacerdotal calling are compelled to have TV commercials and billboards. It seems that recruiting is more important than saving souls for their church to function.

This got me to thinking who does the best job of marketing their religion. I think the Buddhist do a great job as they teach all is sorrow until one gains enlightenment. So when you have a good day you think," Hey this Buddhist thing is not all bad." The Buddhist are savvy as they set the bar low in the temporal world--so when something remotely pleasant happens all Buddhists can rejoice.

Hinduism is one I cannot figure out. They seem to be seeking the same enlightenment as the Buddhists, but do it in a very different manner. They have all these different gods that they are to pray and worship to cure various elements and bad spirits. Hinduism is much like the Walgreens of religion, as they can fix what ails you and there is always one right around the corner. This is similar to what the Catholics do with their Saints.

It would be easy to throw Catholics and Protestants into the same bowl so for brevity I will. Where I think Christians go wrong is their continuous exclamations of the Kingdom of God being restored on earth. I was part of a cult that believed that for the most part the beginning of the end of the world would start in 1972. Most of the Sermons would be something like this:

That's great it starts with an earthquake. Birds and snakes and aeroplanes Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane listen to yourself churn. World serves its own needs dummy serve your own needs. Speed it up a notch speed grunt nose street burn. The ladder starts to clatter with dinner fight down height. Wire in a fire room represent the southern gangs. In a government for hire and a combat site. Lefty wasn't coming in a hurry.With the furies breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters grapple trunk tethered crop. Look at that low plane fine then. Uh oh overflow population cornered. But it'll do save yourself serve yourself. World serves its own needs listen to your heartbeat.Tell me that the reds are in the reverend in the right right? You patriotic patriotic slam fight right might feeling pretty psyched.

Needless to say the severe tones of these sermons toned down after 1972. But, besides the pre-mellinal view of Christianity--they just oversell it. You will pass on and be greeted by your family and loved ones and there is an unlimited supply of HoHoes since Angelic beings do not gain weight. This is just a bit of oversell, plus the only person who returned from heaven did not have it turn out quite so well, and while we are on that point, what was the Son of God doing with a Mexican name.

The biggest marketing quandary of the major religions is that of Islam. It is termed the Religion of Peace, but with the suicide bombing they are killing of their client base.

Maybe, religious marketing is not a point one should dwell upon. However, Jesus and his apostles did a lot of marketing. Buddhas' message spread throughout the Asia, there had to be some marketing involved to make this happen. I don't know how the Hindus did it if they did, but it is still around so their customer retention is laudable. It is the Muslims that have me in a quandary, they are rabid in their beliefs but willing to die and kill the infidel in the name of Allah. This is so they can primarily go to paradise for their 72 virgins. I think it is now time to do a statistical study on the deaths of Muslim virgins compared to Muslim martyrs. I have a feeling a few of those "virgins" are getting passed around a couple of times--just my opinion.