Once again a white man has uttered words that have insulted or demeaned a group of people. Drastic actions must be taken to correct this crime against humanity. In this particular case, radio personality, Don Imus called the Lady Rutgers basketball team a bunch of of " nappy headed ho's". In the quick bit of research I was able to perform many of the Rutger players were indeed nappy headed, but in a quick straw poll of the girls not one teammate agreed to a monetary transaction for sex. Clearly, the Rutgers girls were nappy headed, but it is doubtful they were ho's (the possibility does exist that the wobbly turkey neck and the scent of embalming fluid that precedes Imus, may have greatly discouraged any possible "ho's" from accepting his offer).
In the previous weeks there have been cases where people have called other people gay or homosexual, and even though the assertions were correct the "offending" party entered rehab to cure themselves from the intoxicating feeling of calling a spade a spade--- and I mean spade as in the suit of cards. I cannot afford a thirty day stint in rehab. But in the Imus case, the Rutger's players may have been nappy headed but there is no proof the were ho's. Thirty days of rehab is simply not enough. CBS and MSNBC are discussing a two week suspension, but I think clearer heads will prevail and Don Imus will be put to death preferably by firing squad.
While many will argue that Imus has sponsored the program for children with cancer on his ranch, bringing joy to the last days of terminally ill kids or in some cases helping others go into remission, these self aggrandizing gestures cannot camouflage the underlying attitudes of disdain for ho's. Similarly, since these comments were heard nationwide and live on the radio I think it is safe to forgo the trial and move on to the execution faze.
Thirty days of rehabilitation effectively removes the disdain and guilt of homophobia when offendors call actual gays homos. But, in this case, I think it is highly appropriate to immediately dispose of Don Imus. For those that are a bit squeamish about execution we could also give a frontal lobotomy and remove his vocal chords to effectively squash this hideous menace to society.
If the above actions are not taken within the next two weeks we will all meet at Rockefeller Center and complete the citizen judicial action. God and Joan Baez would want it this ways.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
My Best Sellers
While good writing is important to be a best-selling author, marketing makes it happen. That is why I, like many great writers, will create Titles that sell. By Titles, I do not mean some popular serials that will have on going characters and plot lines, but titles--the name of the best-seller. Below are my first five:
1) "10% Body Fat and Ice Cream 3 Times a Day"
2) "How I Watched TV for Six Months Landed a Six Figure Income, Beat Depression and Grew My Johnson (work on last part)"
3a) "Big Johnson and Little Divorces"
3b)"I Love My Wife"
4) "Me and Mrs. Johnson"
5) "Mrs. Johnson and Me"
Why two number 3)'s? Only single guys need ask. What is with Johnson? Let me beat depression and I will work on the rest, wip.
1) "10% Body Fat and Ice Cream 3 Times a Day"
2) "How I Watched TV for Six Months Landed a Six Figure Income, Beat Depression and Grew My Johnson (work on last part)"
3a) "Big Johnson and Little Divorces"
3b)"I Love My Wife"
4) "Me and Mrs. Johnson"
5) "Mrs. Johnson and Me"
Why two number 3)'s? Only single guys need ask. What is with Johnson? Let me beat depression and I will work on the rest, wip.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Guilty "Gonzo" Bloggers Killed Hunter S. Thompson --a look back
Hunter S. Thompson has been dead a little over two years and his ashes still have a street value of well over $1,000,000. I actually authored this line and unless one reads on may consider this "joke" a witty and "hip" joke. However, the structure of this joke is straight from Chevy Chase's Generalissimo Fransisco Franco is Still Dead bit and the punch line to a Keith Richards joke that I think Dennis Miller did--form and function 100% SNL. I wrote the joke to fit the theme of my "essay", and yet was only inspired by 25 years of SNL watching. (I have probably watched more, but, my late 1980's depravity has me uncertain.)
Why the Hunter S. Thompson interest? Actually, my interest was in Lester Bangs, who was labeled a "gonzo-journalist", but not the original since that would be... yes, Hunter S. Thompson. Stating the obvious, no disrespect Lester, but does writing record reviews make you journalist? (I know he was more than an album reviewer, I saw "Almost Famous".) As many of the printed eulogies stated Thompson was not really much of a journalist, but he was one helluva writer. D.A. Blyler pretty much wrote the same thing on rawstory.com, but he was "miffed" because some bloggers thought snorting coke, drinking, writing and taking quaaludes (normally in that order) made them a "gonzo-journalist".
Mr. Blyler deserves his "miffness" (and yes, "damn it", I am over doing it with the paranthetical statements and "quotes"-- I am developing a whole new "style" of "journalism"), especially since the "old" media ( "the" Times for God's "sake") gave credibility by association with the bloggers and the original Gonzo. Blyler made it a point to let bloggers no they should be overjoyed with what they accomplished in the realm of "Journalism"...
Bloggers...journalism...what the Hell? OK, blogging, the internet, Bill Gates--all in one basket combined with CNN, talk radio and time (as always) change the landscape. Hunter S. Thompson was a superb writer that did it differently, as did Kerouac, Twain, Faulkner, Tolkien, etc. Maybe what we should be asking ourselves is why does Dr. Thompson inspire bloggers so much? Thompson's writing was good, sometimes great, but, it exuded the free-spirit, the counter-culture, freedom...things that brought down the the Berlin Wall and many writers (not just bloggers, dammit).
The first paragraph really could have been used to sum up this whole train of thought. Those that create things we like people who inspire us and many times we would like to create like them. When it is all said and done all we have left as our legacy as writers are the words we wrote. ("FYI", (only 3 hits as of this "writing"), but if this "newer", "Freer" style catches on it is documented, by God I can prove it, it's on the "internet").
Why the Hunter S. Thompson interest? Actually, my interest was in Lester Bangs, who was labeled a "gonzo-journalist", but not the original since that would be... yes, Hunter S. Thompson. Stating the obvious, no disrespect Lester, but does writing record reviews make you journalist? (I know he was more than an album reviewer, I saw "Almost Famous".) As many of the printed eulogies stated Thompson was not really much of a journalist, but he was one helluva writer. D.A. Blyler pretty much wrote the same thing on rawstory.com, but he was "miffed" because some bloggers thought snorting coke, drinking, writing and taking quaaludes (normally in that order) made them a "gonzo-journalist".
Mr. Blyler deserves his "miffness" (and yes, "damn it", I am over doing it with the paranthetical statements and "quotes"-- I am developing a whole new "style" of "journalism"), especially since the "old" media ( "the" Times for God's "sake") gave credibility by association with the bloggers and the original Gonzo. Blyler made it a point to let bloggers no they should be overjoyed with what they accomplished in the realm of "Journalism"...
Bloggers...journalism...what the Hell? OK, blogging, the internet, Bill Gates--all in one basket combined with CNN, talk radio and time (as always) change the landscape. Hunter S. Thompson was a superb writer that did it differently, as did Kerouac, Twain, Faulkner, Tolkien, etc. Maybe what we should be asking ourselves is why does Dr. Thompson inspire bloggers so much? Thompson's writing was good, sometimes great, but, it exuded the free-spirit, the counter-culture, freedom...things that brought down the the Berlin Wall and many writers (not just bloggers, dammit).
The first paragraph really could have been used to sum up this whole train of thought. Those that create things we like people who inspire us and many times we would like to create like them. When it is all said and done all we have left as our legacy as writers are the words we wrote. ("FYI", (only 3 hits as of this "writing"), but if this "newer", "Freer" style catches on it is documented, by God I can prove it, it's on the "internet").
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
A Sublime and Celestial Philosophy for a Utopian Societ
Achem's Razor is a theory that states the best solution to a problem is usually the simplest. Quite by surprise I viewed an example of this on Mad TV with guest host Bob Newhart. The patient came in and explained her issues to Bob Newhart said, "OK, are you ready for the therapy...STOP IT!" The patient was shocked, but Newhart explained stop the behavior and you won't have the problem any longer.
Think about it, if we just stopped all the despicable behavior we would have Heaven on Earth:
Think about it, if we just stopped all the despicable behavior we would have Heaven on Earth:
- The fighting between the Jews and the Muslims--Stop It!
- The fighting between the US and the Muslims--Stop It!
- The contentious in-fighting between the political parties--Stop It!
- The racial in-equities and bigotry--Stop It!
- World Hunger--Stop It!
- Cancer--Stop It!
- Al Gore's public appearance and questionable lisp--Stop IT!
- Clay Aikens---Please, Please, Please--Stop IT!
- Girls Gone Wild-- well this is the exception that proves the rule.
Just some thoughts, please feel free to add to the list and perhaps we can get a world movement to start our earthly Utopia. Rock and Roll Aint Noise Pollution.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Revelations, 9/11 and REM
"In a fire, representing seven games, in a government for hire in a combat site." I will not reveal which verse of the bible this comes from, but clearly it is prophetic and could very aptly describe our current situation. Another troubling scripture is,"Overflow, population, common food, but it will do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs..." As Christians we should not be surprised by the prophecies of the coming tribulations.
Recently, rabbinical experts found an apocryphal document that revealed absolute shocking proof of Heavenly prophecy. The initial verse translates to," That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, ( and a word that translates to aeroplane or flying machine)." Clearly, we have already felt the impact of the earthquake with the horrific tsunami that struck South East Asia. Likewise, the scourge of the bird flu continues to spread over our planet. Finally, the reference to the flying machine(s) can only be a reference to the 9/11 tragedy. Even more convincingly a few verses down closely translates to"Look at that low flying plane! Fine then-- Uh Oh." This must be the final prayers sent to God by those trapped in the unthinkable hell of the twin towers."
Now more than ever, we must tithe, pray and support our fellow Christian brothers and sisters. It is more important than ever that we financially support our Churches to prepare for the upcoming tragedies that will be inflicted on the Holy chosen one's of God's flock. Likewise, it would be wise for all to start stocking up on canned and freezed dried goods to help us make it through the Tribulation. As a Christian Brotherhood we will do our best to care for all our members, but there may be times when one must be self-sufficient. Your tithes are greatly appreciated , but in this dire and eminent crisis all financial support you can spare, is not only appreciated, but absolutely needed.
These words and experiences were very similar to what I experienced in the 1970's and '80's. I was mostly convinced that the world would be taken over by a charismatic Anti-christ that would start WW3 and pretty much put the world in the proverbial crapper. In the meantime, if we did not sin and gave enough money we would be whisked away to a place of safety where we would live on Cheeze Whiz, Vienna Sausage, and 6000 year old bird seed. This would only last seven years since Christ would return and do the atomic-butt drop on the Anti-Christ and seal him up where fallen angels go after being atomic-butt dropped by the big man, you know what I mean Brother!
Few if any read my blog so I may get a bit heretical in my rants, but I do have a point to make. There are extremely intelligent and influential Religious leaders. This is not limited to Christians as most of us are now aware, but my experience was Christian so they will be the scape goat.
Firstly, let me exclaim I am a spiritual man that believes the example of Christ's life is one for which we should all strive. I do have a few Gnostic tweaks thrown in with my mostly orthodox Christian views, but I mainly be that all men should have so much love for Christ that he literally becomes an entity that we can converse with.
That being said the first three paragraphs of this "parody" illustrates how motivated ministers can take, the Bible, current events and even lyrics of REM songs to instigate their flock into giving more, attending more, and even recruiting more members. Yes, the "biblical and apocryphal scriptures" that were quoted to show the signs and symbols of the coming of the Lord came straight from an REM song.
After the first verse that spoke about earthquakes, birds and snakes, an aeroplane--the next line is Lenny Bruce is not afraid. I'm no biblical scholar but I believe Lenny Bruce was a cutting edge comedian that overdosed in the 1960's--could be prophesy, but for what purpose?
The final verse of the REM song," It's the End of the World as We Know it and I Feel Fine", would challenge some of the best Preachers to turn this into an inspirational, yet fear-mongering message of monetary manipulation:
The other night I dreamt of kinves, continental
Drift Divide. Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester
Bangs. Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You
Symbiotic, patriotic, slam book neck, right? Right
Ok, maybe some of the more talented Propagandist Preachers could bend this into a twisted message of the Loving Christ and Saviour of Humanity and Mankind return, but can we get real just for a second. If said Preacher received this message, the knives must be some type of retribution supernaturally, or otherwise. Secondly, God is going to cause a Continental Drift Divide for this retribution--it would seem that no matter which continent he caused the drift many innocence would be killed (unless of course he slid France into the Atlantic, those cheese eating surrender monkeys). But, what retribution would this have to do with the people listed.
Leonard Bernstein, talented, sinning, bi-sexual, composer---dead. Leonid Brezhnev, Godless communist, with some of the most impressive eyebrows in Soviet history--dead. Lenny Bruce, again cutting edge, but vulgar comedian that died of an overdose of heroin, this would also put him in the--dead category. Finally, Lester Bangs, a gonzo rock and roll journalist that was respected for his candor and integrity, sadly he died of an overdose of darvon and valium while fighting a cold--once again Lester would seem to be in the dead category.
So what is my point? There are some gracious, dedicated, clergymen that truly want to lead their congregations towards the way of God. Likewise, their are some power-hungry, greedy, bastards that care about growing their church by preaching whatever message is popular or resonates with the majority of the members. I experienced this first-hand, but if you doubt my story flip through some of the channels on Sunday and you will find a couple examples of what I'm writing about.
As an aside,the church my parents made me attend announced in the early 1980's that it would be OK for Hispanics and Anglos to date and/or marry, but African-Americans and Asians must not date outside their respective races. There was a quote from the bible that made this all legal and binding, but rather de-humanizing. Likewise, we attended church on the Sabbath, Saturday, just as the Jews. There was another biblical answer to why we should do this, but some years later I asked my wife's Great Uncle, a preacher, why most churches did not worship on Saturday, but Sunday. He of course had a very reasonable biblical reason answer that made me not sure which day was the real day of worship.
Then I heard the Muslims worshipped on Friday and I quickly came up with a plan for a four day work week, being a Sabbatarian, with Protestant leanings, who believed the Prophet Mohammed was the true emmisary of God. That plan did not work out so well since I previously tried to convince them that peyote was a sacred sacrament that I needed to use daily to please my Lord, Xiapitipical. I may have had a chance of pulling this off if I was not working in a Catholic diacose.
OK, so finally the summary, Evangilists quit the white supremist hate, Islamo-fascists quit the hate of the infidels, Red Sox fans quit the hate of the Yankees, Buhddists and Hindus do you hate anybody--although you know a good steak would not hurt. Oh, and the Catholics you control most of the Christian world--let's do something about that German Pope--I'm not completely sure this 1000 year Reich thing has completely played out.
Recently, rabbinical experts found an apocryphal document that revealed absolute shocking proof of Heavenly prophecy. The initial verse translates to," That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, ( and a word that translates to aeroplane or flying machine)." Clearly, we have already felt the impact of the earthquake with the horrific tsunami that struck South East Asia. Likewise, the scourge of the bird flu continues to spread over our planet. Finally, the reference to the flying machine(s) can only be a reference to the 9/11 tragedy. Even more convincingly a few verses down closely translates to"Look at that low flying plane! Fine then-- Uh Oh." This must be the final prayers sent to God by those trapped in the unthinkable hell of the twin towers."
Now more than ever, we must tithe, pray and support our fellow Christian brothers and sisters. It is more important than ever that we financially support our Churches to prepare for the upcoming tragedies that will be inflicted on the Holy chosen one's of God's flock. Likewise, it would be wise for all to start stocking up on canned and freezed dried goods to help us make it through the Tribulation. As a Christian Brotherhood we will do our best to care for all our members, but there may be times when one must be self-sufficient. Your tithes are greatly appreciated , but in this dire and eminent crisis all financial support you can spare, is not only appreciated, but absolutely needed.
These words and experiences were very similar to what I experienced in the 1970's and '80's. I was mostly convinced that the world would be taken over by a charismatic Anti-christ that would start WW3 and pretty much put the world in the proverbial crapper. In the meantime, if we did not sin and gave enough money we would be whisked away to a place of safety where we would live on Cheeze Whiz, Vienna Sausage, and 6000 year old bird seed. This would only last seven years since Christ would return and do the atomic-butt drop on the Anti-Christ and seal him up where fallen angels go after being atomic-butt dropped by the big man, you know what I mean Brother!
Few if any read my blog so I may get a bit heretical in my rants, but I do have a point to make. There are extremely intelligent and influential Religious leaders. This is not limited to Christians as most of us are now aware, but my experience was Christian so they will be the scape goat.
Firstly, let me exclaim I am a spiritual man that believes the example of Christ's life is one for which we should all strive. I do have a few Gnostic tweaks thrown in with my mostly orthodox Christian views, but I mainly be that all men should have so much love for Christ that he literally becomes an entity that we can converse with.
That being said the first three paragraphs of this "parody" illustrates how motivated ministers can take, the Bible, current events and even lyrics of REM songs to instigate their flock into giving more, attending more, and even recruiting more members. Yes, the "biblical and apocryphal scriptures" that were quoted to show the signs and symbols of the coming of the Lord came straight from an REM song.
After the first verse that spoke about earthquakes, birds and snakes, an aeroplane--the next line is Lenny Bruce is not afraid. I'm no biblical scholar but I believe Lenny Bruce was a cutting edge comedian that overdosed in the 1960's--could be prophesy, but for what purpose?
The final verse of the REM song," It's the End of the World as We Know it and I Feel Fine", would challenge some of the best Preachers to turn this into an inspirational, yet fear-mongering message of monetary manipulation:
The other night I dreamt of kinves, continental
Drift Divide. Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester
Bangs. Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You
Symbiotic, patriotic, slam book neck, right? Right
Ok, maybe some of the more talented Propagandist Preachers could bend this into a twisted message of the Loving Christ and Saviour of Humanity and Mankind return, but can we get real just for a second. If said Preacher received this message, the knives must be some type of retribution supernaturally, or otherwise. Secondly, God is going to cause a Continental Drift Divide for this retribution--it would seem that no matter which continent he caused the drift many innocence would be killed (unless of course he slid France into the Atlantic, those cheese eating surrender monkeys). But, what retribution would this have to do with the people listed.
Leonard Bernstein, talented, sinning, bi-sexual, composer---dead. Leonid Brezhnev, Godless communist, with some of the most impressive eyebrows in Soviet history--dead. Lenny Bruce, again cutting edge, but vulgar comedian that died of an overdose of heroin, this would also put him in the--dead category. Finally, Lester Bangs, a gonzo rock and roll journalist that was respected for his candor and integrity, sadly he died of an overdose of darvon and valium while fighting a cold--once again Lester would seem to be in the dead category.
So what is my point? There are some gracious, dedicated, clergymen that truly want to lead their congregations towards the way of God. Likewise, their are some power-hungry, greedy, bastards that care about growing their church by preaching whatever message is popular or resonates with the majority of the members. I experienced this first-hand, but if you doubt my story flip through some of the channels on Sunday and you will find a couple examples of what I'm writing about.
As an aside,the church my parents made me attend announced in the early 1980's that it would be OK for Hispanics and Anglos to date and/or marry, but African-Americans and Asians must not date outside their respective races. There was a quote from the bible that made this all legal and binding, but rather de-humanizing. Likewise, we attended church on the Sabbath, Saturday, just as the Jews. There was another biblical answer to why we should do this, but some years later I asked my wife's Great Uncle, a preacher, why most churches did not worship on Saturday, but Sunday. He of course had a very reasonable biblical reason answer that made me not sure which day was the real day of worship.
Then I heard the Muslims worshipped on Friday and I quickly came up with a plan for a four day work week, being a Sabbatarian, with Protestant leanings, who believed the Prophet Mohammed was the true emmisary of God. That plan did not work out so well since I previously tried to convince them that peyote was a sacred sacrament that I needed to use daily to please my Lord, Xiapitipical. I may have had a chance of pulling this off if I was not working in a Catholic diacose.
OK, so finally the summary, Evangilists quit the white supremist hate, Islamo-fascists quit the hate of the infidels, Red Sox fans quit the hate of the Yankees, Buhddists and Hindus do you hate anybody--although you know a good steak would not hurt. Oh, and the Catholics you control most of the Christian world--let's do something about that German Pope--I'm not completely sure this 1000 year Reich thing has completely played out.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Why Congress needs a lesson in Myths
I am currently reading Joseph Campbell. He can be a challenging read. He makes great jumps from Jewish mythology to Algoquin mythology and ties it together with moral challenges that we face in the inner-city. Campbell is intelligent and should be read by every person in congress if not the government in total. It is clear that this will not happen because of time constraints, fact finding missions and probably the congressman's inability to understand Campbell's intelligent prose ( this of course excludes your congressman, as you would not vote for a dolt that was only interested in trips to Dubai, of course this is obvious).
A point that Cambpell made that struck me like a bolt of lightning were myths taught mankind what was proper societal behavior. The mythology of the tribes and societies passed along what the Gods, Demi-gods, or Devils found appropriate and acceptable. In our advanced society we do not need Gods, Demi-gods or Devils to guide us in appropriate societal behavior--we have Judges, Senators and Congressmen to guide us. They are not immortal, but do believe they are infallible, god-like, beings that knows what is best for all of us. This collection of civil servants cannot even agree on protecting our own sovereignty with Mexico.
Campbell explained that the reason for the initiations of many tribes was not only to celebrate the graduation of the boy to the man, but the initiates responsibilities to the tribe-- supplying food, shelter and protection from rival tribes. These initiations were accompanied with many mythic stories and examples to enforce the sacred responsibilities of the initiate to his tribe. The myths were the societal glue of the tribe.
The United States had some exceptional myths that are now being debunked by the post-modern dolts. Manifest Destiny was not a myth, but an idea of mythic proportion which resulted in the US from sea to shining sea--along with some iron-clad sovereignty. Washington crossing the Delaware may not have been as romantic as the painting but it gave the colonies a rallying point and the United States a future quasi-myth to beat our chests. Andrew Jackson, by all accounts a real arse-hole, kicked butt at the battle of New Orleans, the only problem was the war was already over. Nonetheless, the Battle of New Orleans is another bragging point in our keepsake chest of mythology.
We now have a government that uses wars for political posturing rather than dominating the enemy and ending the conflict. Our "civil servants" cannot agree on how or if to protect our border with Mexico. The tribal mythos enforced sovereignty and prepared the tribal members to fight to the death. We have those tribal members, the volunteer army, but unfortunately our leadership is busy trying to invent their own myths.
Five hundred years from now what lessons will we learn from Al and Tipper inspiring Love Story, or his invention of the internet. Or, what about John Kerry's Schwarnegger-like destroying of the Viet Kong, while taking injuries in his rampage. Or what about Bill Clintons.... ah never mind you get the point.
A point that Cambpell made that struck me like a bolt of lightning were myths taught mankind what was proper societal behavior. The mythology of the tribes and societies passed along what the Gods, Demi-gods, or Devils found appropriate and acceptable. In our advanced society we do not need Gods, Demi-gods or Devils to guide us in appropriate societal behavior--we have Judges, Senators and Congressmen to guide us. They are not immortal, but do believe they are infallible, god-like, beings that knows what is best for all of us. This collection of civil servants cannot even agree on protecting our own sovereignty with Mexico.
Campbell explained that the reason for the initiations of many tribes was not only to celebrate the graduation of the boy to the man, but the initiates responsibilities to the tribe-- supplying food, shelter and protection from rival tribes. These initiations were accompanied with many mythic stories and examples to enforce the sacred responsibilities of the initiate to his tribe. The myths were the societal glue of the tribe.
The United States had some exceptional myths that are now being debunked by the post-modern dolts. Manifest Destiny was not a myth, but an idea of mythic proportion which resulted in the US from sea to shining sea--along with some iron-clad sovereignty. Washington crossing the Delaware may not have been as romantic as the painting but it gave the colonies a rallying point and the United States a future quasi-myth to beat our chests. Andrew Jackson, by all accounts a real arse-hole, kicked butt at the battle of New Orleans, the only problem was the war was already over. Nonetheless, the Battle of New Orleans is another bragging point in our keepsake chest of mythology.
We now have a government that uses wars for political posturing rather than dominating the enemy and ending the conflict. Our "civil servants" cannot agree on how or if to protect our border with Mexico. The tribal mythos enforced sovereignty and prepared the tribal members to fight to the death. We have those tribal members, the volunteer army, but unfortunately our leadership is busy trying to invent their own myths.
Five hundred years from now what lessons will we learn from Al and Tipper inspiring Love Story, or his invention of the internet. Or, what about John Kerry's Schwarnegger-like destroying of the Viet Kong, while taking injuries in his rampage. Or what about Bill Clintons.... ah never mind you get the point.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Does God Hate Gays?
This is a question that has become very relevant in the past few years. One question that should be queried is does God exist? This is considered blasphemy by many evangelicals. They are viewed as heretics and should be put to death for their sins. Does this not go against one of the 10 commandments. OK, this is the dichotomy of God's commandments and his supposed followers.
Firstly, God. it would seem, does not have hate in his heart. Secondly, his devout followers believe that the bible is a virtual story. So, God is full of love, but the devout shall stone and execute those that are sinners. Fuck, this is some tough shit. God forgive me for my profanity and the devout bugger off.
Here is the reality of this essay, Gays have an agenda that will give them civil rights such as the African American. While Evangelicals have to battle this Gay agenda. Come on does this sound like some celestial plan that an omnimpent Deity would propagate?
Some answers to the queries proposed. God is probably not real pleased with buggery since it will not propagate the human race. God or some supreme deity probably exists, sure the scientist have theorised we crawled out of the mud and are now creating quantum computers. The earth may not have came to creation as Genesis documents. However, the evolved pollywog's that crawled out of the mud must theorised that there is a Deistic archaism that may have had a celestial evolution. Finally, the evangelical agenda is holy and righteous, but by whose terms. Perhaps, the evangelical righteous and holy beliefs are worshiping the deity of the mud crawling polliwogs, that science has theorised.
Finally, does God love gays, who the hell knows-- does he even exist, who the hell knows, do evangelicals have the right view on Gays-- who the hell knows. Do polliwog's have a supreme deity, yeah probably so. Do scientists have a correct theory on evolution, depends on the polliwogs deity.
All I know is saying faggot does not mean that God does not love them. And 30 days of "therapy" does not remove or negate years of hatred or racism. Isaiah Washington or Ann Coulter be damned , this is after all just a colloquialism God loves the Gays polliwog or anthropic,. Isaiah and Ann probably don' have any true hatred for the Gays. And the Evangelicals are all wankers and discriminators --or maybe not, this is obviously a clear cut case philosophical pantheism. Maybe, god is gay, what with the everlasting life and no reproduction. Stop me before I push the publish button.
Firstly, God. it would seem, does not have hate in his heart. Secondly, his devout followers believe that the bible is a virtual story. So, God is full of love, but the devout shall stone and execute those that are sinners. Fuck, this is some tough shit. God forgive me for my profanity and the devout bugger off.
Here is the reality of this essay, Gays have an agenda that will give them civil rights such as the African American. While Evangelicals have to battle this Gay agenda. Come on does this sound like some celestial plan that an omnimpent Deity would propagate?
Some answers to the queries proposed. God is probably not real pleased with buggery since it will not propagate the human race. God or some supreme deity probably exists, sure the scientist have theorised we crawled out of the mud and are now creating quantum computers. The earth may not have came to creation as Genesis documents. However, the evolved pollywog's that crawled out of the mud must theorised that there is a Deistic archaism that may have had a celestial evolution. Finally, the evangelical agenda is holy and righteous, but by whose terms. Perhaps, the evangelical righteous and holy beliefs are worshiping the deity of the mud crawling polliwogs, that science has theorised.
Finally, does God love gays, who the hell knows-- does he even exist, who the hell knows, do evangelicals have the right view on Gays-- who the hell knows. Do polliwog's have a supreme deity, yeah probably so. Do scientists have a correct theory on evolution, depends on the polliwogs deity.
All I know is saying faggot does not mean that God does not love them. And 30 days of "therapy" does not remove or negate years of hatred or racism. Isaiah Washington or Ann Coulter be damned , this is after all just a colloquialism God loves the Gays polliwog or anthropic,. Isaiah and Ann probably don' have any true hatred for the Gays. And the Evangelicals are all wankers and discriminators --or maybe not, this is obviously a clear cut case philosophical pantheism. Maybe, god is gay, what with the everlasting life and no reproduction. Stop me before I push the publish button.
Faggot??
I am troubled by all the people entering rehab for uttering the "F" word-- no, not the word you are thinking of but "faggot". I do not condone the use of the word, but I also believe people have the right to be oafs and use the term. Now the "F" word has become the new "N" word. Soon we may be able to converse by just using the letters of the alphabet.
What is troubling about this whole trend is many of the crackers are really trying to do the right thing and use the politically correct term. Noticed I used "crackers", it's OK-- I am one. I watched a great commentary about Black, or is it African American, or is it Black comedy. The show gave some great insight into some of the motivations of many of the comedians. The most compelling story was that of Richard Pryor, who was a successful comedian at a very young age. However, after a sabbatical he came back with a completely new act that used sexually explicit language, drug usage terminology, and yes, the word nigger.
Pryor was a genius. He crossed over racial lines with his cutting edge humor. He would in the same bit make fun of how white people would talk and walk when they encountered "niggers". For those offended by the "N" word I will only use it in quotation marks when it was used by Pryor or the other comedians.
To me, Pryor's greatest contribution to comedy and society is he made us laugh, at ourselves and each other. What Pryor realized, is by saying "nigger" is he removed any connotations or power the word once held. Think of that, essentially, one man changed centuries of thought and culture by being funny as hell and saying "nigger".
I hope one can see the similarities between the "N" word and the Faggot situation. The latest "scandal" is Ann Coulter's use of the word while speaking about John Edwards. Now, it is no mystery that Coulter is polarizing, but it was used in the context of a joke--besides John is kind of pretty and Coulter could argue that she was comparing Edwards as a straw man since that is one of the meanings of faggot. Admittedly, it may not have been in the best taste, but so goes the sparring of politics.
What is more demeaning and bias is the pure lack of the press and other Pro-homosexual lobbying groups to completely ignore the multi-cultural connotations of the word "Faggot". In Great Britain they have something called a Large Faggot worm--in my view that is much more demeaning than one's sexual orientation. In Great Britain the word "bloody" is frowned upon--why? There is also a pork meatball by the name faggot, although that may be more descriptive of Newt Gingrich than Edwards. Also the Brits have the term wanker--what the hell is that? In the South the term bugger is used as, "that was one tough bugger", but in many cultures the terms bugger and buggery are extremely frowned upon.
A derivative of faggot is fag and it has its' own meanings around the world. Some examples are, cigarettes, the Guatemalan Air Force, a German Ball Bearing company, a terrorist group in the Canary Islands and the evil Film Actors Guild depicted in Team America: World Police.
My point? Everybody just get over it. One of our most sacred rights as Americans is to be arseholes, (what is an arse in the US), and say ignorant and sometimes insulting things. The beautiful thing about this is the offended have the same right. Not to mention that if this hyper-sensitivity was expanded worldwide we would need another UN just to negotiate between countries to avoid nuclear annihilation and international chaos, e.g. US 'we have the rights to demean homosexuals with the term fag'; Germany' no we have the trade mark on our ball bearing company, Americaner sheistkopfs'. Then famed furniture maker Silas Kopf would file a complaint against the Germans using kopf as a pejorative. As one can see, it would quickly spiral out of control.
My Grandpa, a Swiss immigrant, who I'm sure received some pejorative slurs in his time, like many Swiss had Calvinistic leaning. For those that don't know much about Calvinism, it was essentially a Protestant movement against the Catholic church. So Grandpa would ask, "Who Poped?", anytime somebody broke wind. My point is only our family would understand the connotation of Grandpa's colloquialism. Grandpa compared the Vicar of Jesus Christ, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Bishop of Rome, Prince of the Apostles, Servant of the Servants of God, and pretty much the Grand Poobah of most of the Christian world to flatulence incarnate.
While I don't think Grandpa was a hater. However, those groups that do hate could easily use his tactic to change the idiom of said groups that they hate and continue on with their occult language of hate. Hitler did prove that language could create movements and hate, but conceptually it was thoughts and ideas that were right for the time that created his movement. Do we really think, that in any sane world that 30 days of rehab would replace a philosophical lifetime of hate or discrimination?
Our American birthright and destiny is the right to speak like this. It's not the most perfect society, but it is the best (sorry I can't cite the famous person that said this, but Winston Churchill might be a good bet). No race, creed or "group" should be immune from the pejorative terms, but it is hoped that respect and dignity would be given to all. The beauty part of this system is the demeaned have the same right to demean the demeanors--maybe it would be easier if we should just try to get along. For those are demeaned by any hate group, they should use Richard Pryor's example and simply disempower the pejoratives. Pryor did not accomplish this by showing every occasion of some idiot spewing bad language and manners on the talking head shows and all the cable news networks. Witness the "growth'" of the KKK and the Black Panthers; withering ghosts of the past.
Now that my rant is over I want to apologize to any members of the KKK, Black Panthers, Adolf Hitler, Grandpa, the Vicar of Christ, Catholics, Calvinists, Silas Kopf, any German ball bearing company, the conceptual UN needed to handle the hyper-critical word-nazis, the Guatemalan Air Force, any terrorist group in the Canary Islands, buggers, wankers, any person resembling a straw man or British meat ball, Richard Pryor, niggers, faggots, crackers, fags, and large gelatinous British worms and hope all is forgiven. I will now be entering the Fidelis Angelus Grupo rehab center in Palm Springs and will be unavailable for the next 30 days.
What is troubling about this whole trend is many of the crackers are really trying to do the right thing and use the politically correct term. Noticed I used "crackers", it's OK-- I am one. I watched a great commentary about Black, or is it African American, or is it Black comedy. The show gave some great insight into some of the motivations of many of the comedians. The most compelling story was that of Richard Pryor, who was a successful comedian at a very young age. However, after a sabbatical he came back with a completely new act that used sexually explicit language, drug usage terminology, and yes, the word nigger.
Pryor was a genius. He crossed over racial lines with his cutting edge humor. He would in the same bit make fun of how white people would talk and walk when they encountered "niggers". For those offended by the "N" word I will only use it in quotation marks when it was used by Pryor or the other comedians.
To me, Pryor's greatest contribution to comedy and society is he made us laugh, at ourselves and each other. What Pryor realized, is by saying "nigger" is he removed any connotations or power the word once held. Think of that, essentially, one man changed centuries of thought and culture by being funny as hell and saying "nigger".
I hope one can see the similarities between the "N" word and the Faggot situation. The latest "scandal" is Ann Coulter's use of the word while speaking about John Edwards. Now, it is no mystery that Coulter is polarizing, but it was used in the context of a joke--besides John is kind of pretty and Coulter could argue that she was comparing Edwards as a straw man since that is one of the meanings of faggot. Admittedly, it may not have been in the best taste, but so goes the sparring of politics.
What is more demeaning and bias is the pure lack of the press and other Pro-homosexual lobbying groups to completely ignore the multi-cultural connotations of the word "Faggot". In Great Britain they have something called a Large Faggot worm--in my view that is much more demeaning than one's sexual orientation. In Great Britain the word "bloody" is frowned upon--why? There is also a pork meatball by the name faggot, although that may be more descriptive of Newt Gingrich than Edwards. Also the Brits have the term wanker--what the hell is that? In the South the term bugger is used as, "that was one tough bugger", but in many cultures the terms bugger and buggery are extremely frowned upon.
A derivative of faggot is fag and it has its' own meanings around the world. Some examples are, cigarettes, the Guatemalan Air Force, a German Ball Bearing company, a terrorist group in the Canary Islands and the evil Film Actors Guild depicted in Team America: World Police.
My point? Everybody just get over it. One of our most sacred rights as Americans is to be arseholes, (what is an arse in the US), and say ignorant and sometimes insulting things. The beautiful thing about this is the offended have the same right. Not to mention that if this hyper-sensitivity was expanded worldwide we would need another UN just to negotiate between countries to avoid nuclear annihilation and international chaos, e.g. US 'we have the rights to demean homosexuals with the term fag'; Germany' no we have the trade mark on our ball bearing company, Americaner sheistkopfs'. Then famed furniture maker Silas Kopf would file a complaint against the Germans using kopf as a pejorative. As one can see, it would quickly spiral out of control.
My Grandpa, a Swiss immigrant, who I'm sure received some pejorative slurs in his time, like many Swiss had Calvinistic leaning. For those that don't know much about Calvinism, it was essentially a Protestant movement against the Catholic church. So Grandpa would ask, "Who Poped?", anytime somebody broke wind. My point is only our family would understand the connotation of Grandpa's colloquialism. Grandpa compared the Vicar of Jesus Christ, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Bishop of Rome, Prince of the Apostles, Servant of the Servants of God, and pretty much the Grand Poobah of most of the Christian world to flatulence incarnate.
While I don't think Grandpa was a hater. However, those groups that do hate could easily use his tactic to change the idiom of said groups that they hate and continue on with their occult language of hate. Hitler did prove that language could create movements and hate, but conceptually it was thoughts and ideas that were right for the time that created his movement. Do we really think, that in any sane world that 30 days of rehab would replace a philosophical lifetime of hate or discrimination?
Our American birthright and destiny is the right to speak like this. It's not the most perfect society, but it is the best (sorry I can't cite the famous person that said this, but Winston Churchill might be a good bet). No race, creed or "group" should be immune from the pejorative terms, but it is hoped that respect and dignity would be given to all. The beauty part of this system is the demeaned have the same right to demean the demeanors--maybe it would be easier if we should just try to get along. For those are demeaned by any hate group, they should use Richard Pryor's example and simply disempower the pejoratives. Pryor did not accomplish this by showing every occasion of some idiot spewing bad language and manners on the talking head shows and all the cable news networks. Witness the "growth'" of the KKK and the Black Panthers; withering ghosts of the past.
Now that my rant is over I want to apologize to any members of the KKK, Black Panthers, Adolf Hitler, Grandpa, the Vicar of Christ, Catholics, Calvinists, Silas Kopf, any German ball bearing company, the conceptual UN needed to handle the hyper-critical word-nazis, the Guatemalan Air Force, any terrorist group in the Canary Islands, buggers, wankers, any person resembling a straw man or British meat ball, Richard Pryor, niggers, faggots, crackers, fags, and large gelatinous British worms and hope all is forgiven. I will now be entering the Fidelis Angelus Grupo rehab center in Palm Springs and will be unavailable for the next 30 days.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Featured Article in Flatulence Quarterly, courtesy of Fred Rancid
It was with great excitement when I accepted the Al Franken assignment. Franken has roots to the original Not Ready For Prime Time Players and therefore, kinship with a long line of flatulence connoisseurs. Enjoyment of quality flatulence may have gotten its start in 1978, When Dan Ackroyd, John Belushi and Bill Murray sequestered themselves in Ackroyd's apartment with several cases of dark beer, bratwurst and pickled eggs (and some said some excellent hashish to encourage the supplementation process). These sessions are legendary for the volume--both quantity and auditory explosions, and more importantly the development of the feortan standards.
Ackroyd and Belushi realized that there were undertones, peaks and palate profiles that like a fine vintage were unique to certain combinations of the "grape" and certain "seasons" to create the vintage. As many can believe, Belushi was the driving force behind the session, but while Ackroyd was a close friend it was actually Murray that gave Belushi a run for the money. While Belushi and Murray had roots to Chicago, they had a good understanding of beer and bratz. More importantly they had the Chicago attitude, much like Chicago blues, that exalted in unabashed expulsion of the vintage that was coming of age in their intestinal breweries. Many believe Ackroyd's Canadian heritage kept him from attaining the level of the Chicagoans from simple politeness and perhaps to much hashish intake.
One can see why this writer would be excited about the Al Franken review. He has a bloodline. He goes back to the beginning of SNL and may have even participated in many of the quality feortan sessions that were regularly held. Another sometimes visitor of the Belushi sessions was an occasional visit from Garrett Morris who added pickled pigs feet, stuffed pork chops, and an oft forgotten component of competitive farting--boiled cabbage. In fact, Jim Belushi was present at one of these sessions and related to me that his brother was at the top of his game when ingesting the pork chops and cabbage but decided to forgo the pickled pigs feet. That night Garret Morris was the clear artist of the night. Garret's audio phonic volume was impressive but the layers of essence is what separated him from Belushi and Murray, who was a far third (Ackroyd had passed out from ingesting a high content of Guinness in hopes of "priming the pump").
This preamble would not be complete without discussing Chris Farley. Farley may have been the most talented farter in the history of SNL. It was said that his essence nearly always had the proper scent profiles of sulpher, distance skunkiness, mild fruitiness and the smoky undertones of a freshly lit Cohiba (with some say a nice contrast of vanilla). Unfortunately, Farley was not as controlled as his SNL forefathers and so many say his best work was never accomplished. It was said that Farley was a Kamikaze Farter (kamikaze translates to Divine Wind), but Farley's sheer volume of continuous expulsions made it hard for many to analyse, evaluate and enjoy his work. Farley is worth mentioning simply for the similarity between he and Belushi, quality farters that passed before they reached their pinnacle.
My theory was that SNL, especially in the early years of the 1970's, fostered an attitude of unabashed indulgence and spirit--a nice combination for quality flatulence. Therefore, I was confident that Franken would have great stories of the early years of SNL aromatic explosions and be able to demonstrate a nice sampling of his own work. The disappointment was as pungent as a Rosie O'Donell blast after a corned-beef and cabbage binge in a sleeping bag. Franken may have lost his Feortan muscle after all years of grueling live TV, or perhaps, he never had it.
We met at a German restaurant in Manhattan, which I believed would lead to very promising work. However, once Franken arrived I started to have my doubts. He ordered a club soda--did not consider a beer; asked about a vegetarian plate and requested all broccoli and cabbage be cut from his order. Broccoli can contribute a certain sulpherness to some farters' work, but a small amount does start ones "mojo" and is considered one of the finest primers for intestinal rumbling.
Once the meal was complete, we retired to patio to get down to the task at hand. Firstly, it took Franken for a better part of an hour to produce an initial, pathetic hummingbird squeak that produced no essence, not even a hint of things to come. In fairness to Franken, after two hours he did start to produce many expulsions, but most with little quality and those that tickled the palette were very, sweet and fruity. Likewise, there was an overriding essence of charcoal, something I have never experienced. There was no bottom, no peaks, no skunkiness, no essence of garlic and none of the mild fecal flavor needed to produce even and average vintage.
As time went on Franken's quantity reduced and there was not even a hint of evidence of flatulence. To my dismay, Franken continued his consumption of club soda, so there was never a hope of the hoppy skunkiness that a quality German brew could contribute. Finally, after three hours the action was over. Franken bid farewell and I had three Poulaners and the sausage sampler. In 20 minutes my warm-up work had out distanced Franken's most pungent run of the evening.
I do not regret my meeting with Franken, even with the olfactory disappointments. It is not often that one has the chance to have a face to face with one of the original SNLer's--even if they were a minor player in the beginning. The bar was set high by the legendary SNL farters. I never expected Franken to produce at their level, but my disappointment was not even once did Franken give us a reason to offer a boisterous, " Well excuuuuuse me!'.
Ackroyd and Belushi realized that there were undertones, peaks and palate profiles that like a fine vintage were unique to certain combinations of the "grape" and certain "seasons" to create the vintage. As many can believe, Belushi was the driving force behind the session, but while Ackroyd was a close friend it was actually Murray that gave Belushi a run for the money. While Belushi and Murray had roots to Chicago, they had a good understanding of beer and bratz. More importantly they had the Chicago attitude, much like Chicago blues, that exalted in unabashed expulsion of the vintage that was coming of age in their intestinal breweries. Many believe Ackroyd's Canadian heritage kept him from attaining the level of the Chicagoans from simple politeness and perhaps to much hashish intake.
One can see why this writer would be excited about the Al Franken review. He has a bloodline. He goes back to the beginning of SNL and may have even participated in many of the quality feortan sessions that were regularly held. Another sometimes visitor of the Belushi sessions was an occasional visit from Garrett Morris who added pickled pigs feet, stuffed pork chops, and an oft forgotten component of competitive farting--boiled cabbage. In fact, Jim Belushi was present at one of these sessions and related to me that his brother was at the top of his game when ingesting the pork chops and cabbage but decided to forgo the pickled pigs feet. That night Garret Morris was the clear artist of the night. Garret's audio phonic volume was impressive but the layers of essence is what separated him from Belushi and Murray, who was a far third (Ackroyd had passed out from ingesting a high content of Guinness in hopes of "priming the pump").
This preamble would not be complete without discussing Chris Farley. Farley may have been the most talented farter in the history of SNL. It was said that his essence nearly always had the proper scent profiles of sulpher, distance skunkiness, mild fruitiness and the smoky undertones of a freshly lit Cohiba (with some say a nice contrast of vanilla). Unfortunately, Farley was not as controlled as his SNL forefathers and so many say his best work was never accomplished. It was said that Farley was a Kamikaze Farter (kamikaze translates to Divine Wind), but Farley's sheer volume of continuous expulsions made it hard for many to analyse, evaluate and enjoy his work. Farley is worth mentioning simply for the similarity between he and Belushi, quality farters that passed before they reached their pinnacle.
My theory was that SNL, especially in the early years of the 1970's, fostered an attitude of unabashed indulgence and spirit--a nice combination for quality flatulence. Therefore, I was confident that Franken would have great stories of the early years of SNL aromatic explosions and be able to demonstrate a nice sampling of his own work. The disappointment was as pungent as a Rosie O'Donell blast after a corned-beef and cabbage binge in a sleeping bag. Franken may have lost his Feortan muscle after all years of grueling live TV, or perhaps, he never had it.
We met at a German restaurant in Manhattan, which I believed would lead to very promising work. However, once Franken arrived I started to have my doubts. He ordered a club soda--did not consider a beer; asked about a vegetarian plate and requested all broccoli and cabbage be cut from his order. Broccoli can contribute a certain sulpherness to some farters' work, but a small amount does start ones "mojo" and is considered one of the finest primers for intestinal rumbling.
Once the meal was complete, we retired to patio to get down to the task at hand. Firstly, it took Franken for a better part of an hour to produce an initial, pathetic hummingbird squeak that produced no essence, not even a hint of things to come. In fairness to Franken, after two hours he did start to produce many expulsions, but most with little quality and those that tickled the palette were very, sweet and fruity. Likewise, there was an overriding essence of charcoal, something I have never experienced. There was no bottom, no peaks, no skunkiness, no essence of garlic and none of the mild fecal flavor needed to produce even and average vintage.
As time went on Franken's quantity reduced and there was not even a hint of evidence of flatulence. To my dismay, Franken continued his consumption of club soda, so there was never a hope of the hoppy skunkiness that a quality German brew could contribute. Finally, after three hours the action was over. Franken bid farewell and I had three Poulaners and the sausage sampler. In 20 minutes my warm-up work had out distanced Franken's most pungent run of the evening.
I do not regret my meeting with Franken, even with the olfactory disappointments. It is not often that one has the chance to have a face to face with one of the original SNLer's--even if they were a minor player in the beginning. The bar was set high by the legendary SNL farters. I never expected Franken to produce at their level, but my disappointment was not even once did Franken give us a reason to offer a boisterous, " Well excuuuuuse me!'.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Pantheistic-Monotheism or the End of the World as We Know IT
That's great it starts with an Earthquake
birds and snakes and aeroplanes
Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
Revelations 12 v 18:19
Most at this time of year contemplate Peace and Goodwill on Men, but with the wars and hodgepodge around the world some of the more religious may consider we are in the end times. Many traditions have a recurring theme of an end time and a savior that would rescue them from the tribulations of said end time.
As the above verse from Revelations illustrates, great tribulations were prophesied for those that did not believe. The irony is there are many other faiths that speak of unbelievers being struck down, such as the original Passover night in Egypt. Another rather cryptic, but foreboding scripture comes from Ezekiel 48:38, "The other night I tripped a nice continental drift drive. Mountains sit in a line. Leonard Bernstein". Is this Lion of Bernstein another savior?
These interesting recurrences of the mystic savior that comes forth to save the "chosen" people is much older than 2,000 to 3,000 years. The Aryans that pushed into the Indian subcontinent had a God (or demi-god if you prefer) named Krishna who was crucified on a tree 3000 BC. This sacrifice was to forgive the transgressions of his people. There are even some parallels to the "Chrystos Mythos" in the incensuous story of Isis, Osiris and Horus. Long story short, Horus is relieved of his deitific "schvauntz", by a rival god which Isis searches for and discovers and impregnates herself with the phallic member of Horus. The result is Osiris, the Golden One, son of the father and technically first born of a quasi-virgin mother.
Here is my point; God is perfect right? So back when he made the perfect universe, V1.0, his perfection may have been similar to an Intel 486. This was the best there was and damn if it was the last chip that would ever be needed. But then God woke up one night and scratched something on a pad and the next morning may have some ideas for a new more Perfect Universe in which his many facets of Godness would not be emulated by animals and the sub-gods needed to explain facets the animal personifications did not explain. He would have one chosen people that would be blessed by worshipping just one god.
Shortly after God helped the Israelites with their exit policy from Egypt they were given 10 simple rules to follow to maintain their status as the "Chosen Ones". Clearly, the perfection in God's plan was the simplicity: 1 god; 10 commandments and everything is copacetic.
Well after 2000 years of obeying, not obeying, mixing cultures the 10 simple rules became clouded. And then Pharisees and Sadducee's got into their legalistic translations of what God's "simple" religion and rules were and that is when the gold, frankincense and myrrh hit the fan.
So God decided to cut the crap and send his son to a virgin to be sacrificed and forgiven for all mans sins. OK, that should cut complexity, the legalistic translations, the Pantheons of gods to be worshipped to glorify the one God and all the other unneeded trappings to pay respect to the Architect of the Universe and transcriber of perfection. God would simply have his son sacrificed and every human being would be forgiven for their sins.
This was a perfect plan and the first 100 years it was masterful, but then the "church fathers" congregated and decided which holy writings should be included in the canon of Christianity. The Gnostics were to mystic, so their writings must not be included. There were other writings that clearly named Mary Magdalene as his favorite apostle--this simply would not do for the church of Peter. So former Pagan, Constantine, finally had a Holy Bible compiled for all to worship--what God meant to be a simple statement of love, "Hey I love you, I have sacrificed my son, now do good and get your shit together." Turned into a mish-mash of sects political struggles, ornate ceremonies and even some down home, ass kicking torture.
Then the prophet Mohammad came along and tweaked the whole Judeo-Christian thing with some legalism, fervent prayer and not just a little ass-kicking. But on the whole it was in the same vein as the original Egyptian, Judaic, Christian perfect religion that always got screwed up by man trying to improve on God's perfection. Sects emerged, Shiites, Sunnis and Wahhabism and now, once again God's perfection is meddled, muddled and mightily stomped by the unruly rain boots of mankind.
Well we see where we are now Christians fighting Christians; Christians fighting Muslims, Muslims fighting Muslims, Muslims fighting Jews, and even some Jews fighting each other. This does not even dip a fang into the Goths, Vampires, Wiccans, Witches, Satanists, Satanic Nihilists, True Golden Dawn, Esoteric Golden Dawn, and the various and changing Crowleyana sects of the month who lay claim to the one and only true path to enlightenment.
I have chosen to convert to a pantheistic monotheism. Their will be no church or human organization. My thought is to learn what the Big Guy had in mind each time Perfection was created.That is before we screwed it up and if I learn that, things should be OK. Seems like Buddha might have said something like this," It's the end of the world as we know and I feel fine...fine"
birds and snakes and aeroplanes
Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
Revelations 12 v 18:19
Most at this time of year contemplate Peace and Goodwill on Men, but with the wars and hodgepodge around the world some of the more religious may consider we are in the end times. Many traditions have a recurring theme of an end time and a savior that would rescue them from the tribulations of said end time.
As the above verse from Revelations illustrates, great tribulations were prophesied for those that did not believe. The irony is there are many other faiths that speak of unbelievers being struck down, such as the original Passover night in Egypt. Another rather cryptic, but foreboding scripture comes from Ezekiel 48:38, "The other night I tripped a nice continental drift drive. Mountains sit in a line. Leonard Bernstein". Is this Lion of Bernstein another savior?
These interesting recurrences of the mystic savior that comes forth to save the "chosen" people is much older than 2,000 to 3,000 years. The Aryans that pushed into the Indian subcontinent had a God (or demi-god if you prefer) named Krishna who was crucified on a tree 3000 BC. This sacrifice was to forgive the transgressions of his people. There are even some parallels to the "Chrystos Mythos" in the incensuous story of Isis, Osiris and Horus. Long story short, Horus is relieved of his deitific "schvauntz", by a rival god which Isis searches for and discovers and impregnates herself with the phallic member of Horus. The result is Osiris, the Golden One, son of the father and technically first born of a quasi-virgin mother.
Here is my point; God is perfect right? So back when he made the perfect universe, V1.0, his perfection may have been similar to an Intel 486. This was the best there was and damn if it was the last chip that would ever be needed. But then God woke up one night and scratched something on a pad and the next morning may have some ideas for a new more Perfect Universe in which his many facets of Godness would not be emulated by animals and the sub-gods needed to explain facets the animal personifications did not explain. He would have one chosen people that would be blessed by worshipping just one god.
Shortly after God helped the Israelites with their exit policy from Egypt they were given 10 simple rules to follow to maintain their status as the "Chosen Ones". Clearly, the perfection in God's plan was the simplicity: 1 god; 10 commandments and everything is copacetic.
Well after 2000 years of obeying, not obeying, mixing cultures the 10 simple rules became clouded. And then Pharisees and Sadducee's got into their legalistic translations of what God's "simple" religion and rules were and that is when the gold, frankincense and myrrh hit the fan.
So God decided to cut the crap and send his son to a virgin to be sacrificed and forgiven for all mans sins. OK, that should cut complexity, the legalistic translations, the Pantheons of gods to be worshipped to glorify the one God and all the other unneeded trappings to pay respect to the Architect of the Universe and transcriber of perfection. God would simply have his son sacrificed and every human being would be forgiven for their sins.
This was a perfect plan and the first 100 years it was masterful, but then the "church fathers" congregated and decided which holy writings should be included in the canon of Christianity. The Gnostics were to mystic, so their writings must not be included. There were other writings that clearly named Mary Magdalene as his favorite apostle--this simply would not do for the church of Peter. So former Pagan, Constantine, finally had a Holy Bible compiled for all to worship--what God meant to be a simple statement of love, "Hey I love you, I have sacrificed my son, now do good and get your shit together." Turned into a mish-mash of sects political struggles, ornate ceremonies and even some down home, ass kicking torture.
Then the prophet Mohammad came along and tweaked the whole Judeo-Christian thing with some legalism, fervent prayer and not just a little ass-kicking. But on the whole it was in the same vein as the original Egyptian, Judaic, Christian perfect religion that always got screwed up by man trying to improve on God's perfection. Sects emerged, Shiites, Sunnis and Wahhabism and now, once again God's perfection is meddled, muddled and mightily stomped by the unruly rain boots of mankind.
Well we see where we are now Christians fighting Christians; Christians fighting Muslims, Muslims fighting Muslims, Muslims fighting Jews, and even some Jews fighting each other. This does not even dip a fang into the Goths, Vampires, Wiccans, Witches, Satanists, Satanic Nihilists, True Golden Dawn, Esoteric Golden Dawn, and the various and changing Crowleyana sects of the month who lay claim to the one and only true path to enlightenment.
I have chosen to convert to a pantheistic monotheism. Their will be no church or human organization. My thought is to learn what the Big Guy had in mind each time Perfection was created.That is before we screwed it up and if I learn that, things should be OK. Seems like Buddha might have said something like this," It's the end of the world as we know and I feel fine...fine"
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Pros and Cons of Being a Vampire
I have been contemplating some lifestyle changes, here are my thoughts your input would be appreciated.
Pros:
5. Little chance of aging before one's time from dreaded sun damage
4. 300 is the new 40
3. Ann Rice
2. Pretty sure blood is OK on the Atkins diet
1. Thought it would give me a little extra time to learn Spanish
Cons:
5. Pinot Grigio does not go well with type O positive
4. All the poser "Goths"--it was lame in the 1300's; the 1990's and will be in 2110
3. Concerned about the cliquishness of the Undead...500 years of Junior High?
2. Ann Rice
1. Note to self--check on how "till death do us part" applies to the Undead
Pros:
5. Little chance of aging before one's time from dreaded sun damage
4. 300 is the new 40
3. Ann Rice
2. Pretty sure blood is OK on the Atkins diet
1. Thought it would give me a little extra time to learn Spanish
Cons:
5. Pinot Grigio does not go well with type O positive
4. All the poser "Goths"--it was lame in the 1300's; the 1990's and will be in 2110
3. Concerned about the cliquishness of the Undead...500 years of Junior High?
2. Ann Rice
1. Note to self--check on how "till death do us part" applies to the Undead
Thursday, August 31, 2006
The Dawning of a New Aeon, the Age of Aquarius, Islamic World Rule and Crappy has been Stars Wasting Primetime and the Man Responsible for All of It
Because of a recent surgery I had about six weeks of being homebound which gave me much time with seemingly little to do. However, it allowed me an opportunity to catch up on some reading; studying the esoteric arts; practicing the Great Work and watching way too much TV. This pot of differing stimuli and some pretty damn good pain killers combined for an illuminating contemplative stew.
This period had a monastic quality which allowed me to reevaluate my life. I strove to become closer to my Higher Power, studied the ancient esoteric mysteries, and sadly, became more familiar with American popular culture. The path of the Great Work is inspiring to me because no matter how far I am from Kether, I know I am moving in the direction of humanity's birthright.
However, the neo-Chamberlain response to the Lebanon crisis is disgraceful. Just as fascist used incrementalism in Nazi Germany the Islamic extremists are following the same pattern. Interestingly, one person that may have set this in motion had great respect for the "Mohamidans" as they were called in his time. Aleister Crowley accepted the mystic practices of the Sikhs and in fact had his most life transforming event in Egypt. By no means was he an enemy of the Arabs or the followers of Islam.
However, Crowley was forty years ahead of his time in the advocacy of Free Love and the ceremonial use of drugs to enhance his theurgical union with his Holy Guardian Angel. While he was not individually responsible for the flower child movement and the ensuing explosion of drug use in the 1960's and 70's he did influence icons of that generation.
Ozzie Osborn of Black Sabbath mentioned Crowley by name in one of his songs and the whole quasi-diabolical persona of that band may have had some inspiration from Crowley. Likewise, Jimmy Page, of Led Zeppelin, was greatly influenced by Crowley. So much so, he purchased the former estate of Crowley near Loch Ness, Boleskine. Page is said to practice the Golden Dawn magic where Crowley first made his name, this is not Satanic worship as many would have you believe.
But how does this lead to the Islamic Jihad for world domination? Well the 1970's started a trend to social liberalism which increasingly offended the ultra-legalistic mullahs of the extremist sects of Islam. It could be argued they should have the right to be offended by rampit drug use, casual meaningless sex, and the alienation of entire generation of our children--many Americans hold the same offense. However, the Fascist-Mullash decided Jihad was the answer to irradicate the great Satan and since 1979 we have seen incremental attacks and aggression on the West and Democracy.
Ironically, Crowley associated himself with the Great Beast, 666, of Revelations. So was Crowley the catalyst for the current extremist Jihad Fascists movement to rule the world? He did break many social conventions that became commonplace occurences in the 1960's by the Social Trendsetters of the Western Culture. Crowley even has a rather fervent cult following that many closed minded religios of all denominations consider devil worshippers or Satanists. So it would seem Crowley is indeed the Anti-Christ prophesised in Revelations--except for the fact that his overriding philosophy flies directly in the face of the Jihad Fascists.
In fact, Crowley had much in common with the Freethinkers of Natural Law of the 1700's: Locke; Adams; Jefferson; Washington; Franklin and Payne. Man has innate irrevocable rights that no man, institution, government OR religion can deny. Crowley believed every man and woman was a star and the summation of his life philosophy was, "Do what thy will, shall be the whole of the Law." Many claimed this was blatant promotion of Anarchy, but Crowley, if nothing else, was an intellectual and deep thinker. His philosophy simply meant find your true will and do all humanly possible to attain one's True Will. There was an addendum to Crowley's Do what they will... and it was "Love under Will, Love under the Law". Crowley was no anarchist, if anything he was a Libertarian (and yes a libertine) of the ilk of the Founding Fathers---inalienable rights that no entity can revoke.
So did Crowley put in place key motivators for what we are now experiencing -- perhaps yes. But he also in his erudite way promoted a philosophy that is held by the majority of Americans not in the strict esoteric sense, but in the sense that we will always reject tyranny and we own guns and know how to use them.
By the way, the real Anti-Christ is Mark Burnett who continues to parade has been celebrities on to his endless reality shows and thereby scarring our collective psyches. C'mon what redeeming factor is there to Chakha Khan showing her pomeranian's best pet tricks or the Dancing Guy from the Mighty Mighty Bostones favorite quilt collection. Enjoy your time now Mark Burnett for the Aeon of the Solar Christ Soul is hence and you will pay for your sins--especially that Clay Aikens thing.
This period had a monastic quality which allowed me to reevaluate my life. I strove to become closer to my Higher Power, studied the ancient esoteric mysteries, and sadly, became more familiar with American popular culture. The path of the Great Work is inspiring to me because no matter how far I am from Kether, I know I am moving in the direction of humanity's birthright.
However, the neo-Chamberlain response to the Lebanon crisis is disgraceful. Just as fascist used incrementalism in Nazi Germany the Islamic extremists are following the same pattern. Interestingly, one person that may have set this in motion had great respect for the "Mohamidans" as they were called in his time. Aleister Crowley accepted the mystic practices of the Sikhs and in fact had his most life transforming event in Egypt. By no means was he an enemy of the Arabs or the followers of Islam.
However, Crowley was forty years ahead of his time in the advocacy of Free Love and the ceremonial use of drugs to enhance his theurgical union with his Holy Guardian Angel. While he was not individually responsible for the flower child movement and the ensuing explosion of drug use in the 1960's and 70's he did influence icons of that generation.
Ozzie Osborn of Black Sabbath mentioned Crowley by name in one of his songs and the whole quasi-diabolical persona of that band may have had some inspiration from Crowley. Likewise, Jimmy Page, of Led Zeppelin, was greatly influenced by Crowley. So much so, he purchased the former estate of Crowley near Loch Ness, Boleskine. Page is said to practice the Golden Dawn magic where Crowley first made his name, this is not Satanic worship as many would have you believe.
But how does this lead to the Islamic Jihad for world domination? Well the 1970's started a trend to social liberalism which increasingly offended the ultra-legalistic mullahs of the extremist sects of Islam. It could be argued they should have the right to be offended by rampit drug use, casual meaningless sex, and the alienation of entire generation of our children--many Americans hold the same offense. However, the Fascist-Mullash decided Jihad was the answer to irradicate the great Satan and since 1979 we have seen incremental attacks and aggression on the West and Democracy.
Ironically, Crowley associated himself with the Great Beast, 666, of Revelations. So was Crowley the catalyst for the current extremist Jihad Fascists movement to rule the world? He did break many social conventions that became commonplace occurences in the 1960's by the Social Trendsetters of the Western Culture. Crowley even has a rather fervent cult following that many closed minded religios of all denominations consider devil worshippers or Satanists. So it would seem Crowley is indeed the Anti-Christ prophesised in Revelations--except for the fact that his overriding philosophy flies directly in the face of the Jihad Fascists.
In fact, Crowley had much in common with the Freethinkers of Natural Law of the 1700's: Locke; Adams; Jefferson; Washington; Franklin and Payne. Man has innate irrevocable rights that no man, institution, government OR religion can deny. Crowley believed every man and woman was a star and the summation of his life philosophy was, "Do what thy will, shall be the whole of the Law." Many claimed this was blatant promotion of Anarchy, but Crowley, if nothing else, was an intellectual and deep thinker. His philosophy simply meant find your true will and do all humanly possible to attain one's True Will. There was an addendum to Crowley's Do what they will... and it was "Love under Will, Love under the Law". Crowley was no anarchist, if anything he was a Libertarian (and yes a libertine) of the ilk of the Founding Fathers---inalienable rights that no entity can revoke.
So did Crowley put in place key motivators for what we are now experiencing -- perhaps yes. But he also in his erudite way promoted a philosophy that is held by the majority of Americans not in the strict esoteric sense, but in the sense that we will always reject tyranny and we own guns and know how to use them.
By the way, the real Anti-Christ is Mark Burnett who continues to parade has been celebrities on to his endless reality shows and thereby scarring our collective psyches. C'mon what redeeming factor is there to Chakha Khan showing her pomeranian's best pet tricks or the Dancing Guy from the Mighty Mighty Bostones favorite quilt collection. Enjoy your time now Mark Burnett for the Aeon of the Solar Christ Soul is hence and you will pay for your sins--especially that Clay Aikens thing.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
What are our real priorities
I suffered from a couple epileptic episodes in the last few days and was actually hospitalized. This gave me time to think and also watch the cable news stations. One of my priorities is to stop my seizure activity, but I find this increasingly difficult with the apoplectic rhetoric that is issuing from the political camps in Washington.
Can we put to rest the tired rhetoric about our country going to war on the spur of the moment. Every last one of the flaky representatives had the same intelligence that the President had concerning Al Quaeda and weapons development in Iraq. And most of the spineless milquetoasts voted in the majority to go to war.
The Republicans are not guilt free, since from the very top they are trying to run a political war, not a war to win. We are dealing with revolutionaries that have a specific goal. Do we need a revolution? The question can easily be answered by asking yourself if you feel you are really being represented by your political proxies in Washington. Iran is looming....
Can we put to rest the tired rhetoric about our country going to war on the spur of the moment. Every last one of the flaky representatives had the same intelligence that the President had concerning Al Quaeda and weapons development in Iraq. And most of the spineless milquetoasts voted in the majority to go to war.
The Republicans are not guilt free, since from the very top they are trying to run a political war, not a war to win. We are dealing with revolutionaries that have a specific goal. Do we need a revolution? The question can easily be answered by asking yourself if you feel you are really being represented by your political proxies in Washington. Iran is looming....
Friday, May 12, 2006
The student was ready and the Master appeared
I had some life changes in the last two years. Many priorities changed in my life and I was looking at life differently. Surprisingly, I was drawn more to the path of mysticism rather than magic. In the past I was drawn to the Golden Dawn tradition but for some reason I wanted to rid myself of all the ceremonial trappings and meditate to enlightenment.
This introspection was also part of my mundane life. I started questioning why things were the way they were. Why did my property tax go up and why do I need to pay that amount? Why do I need to arrive at my job at eight and leave at five? Why must may taxes be taken out of each check rather than pay at the end of the year?
The result questioning these and many, many more questions was I learned we simply give control of our lives to ruling authorities with much faith and little assurance of our universal and eternal rights. The more frightening point is few these days question "why?". That is when Michael Savage, scurge of the political left and the ACLU, entered my consciousness.
I had heard Michael Savage in the past and quickly changed the radio station. As a native Texan, I had a hard time dealing with his New York City accent and his brash demeanor, I was not ready for the Master. However, I started listening to him on my drive home and more important listening to what he said and realized that Dr. Savage ( yes, he received his Doctorate from UC Berkeley) was practicing something that few did anymore. Dr. Savage was a critical thinker. Trained in the scientific method, he was applying this to his political and world views.
I was hooked. He had reasoned and thought out arguments. He did not spew the Democrat or Republican talking points. This is not to say he did not spew, he did. However, at the end of his rant he would detail why he held the view he was discussing and, amazingly, it was the most reasoned and rational view that had been publicly discussed by all, especially any politician in the last 50 years. Dr. Savage is very intelligent, but, if we all think about what we are going to do or why we do what we do, wouldn't we also have some level of rationality?
Dr. Savage gave me a valuable gift, in fact, a priceless gift, that of using the most powerful gift given by God, the gift of really using my mind, critically thinking. If anybody reads this they may write it off as another right-wing tool to promote the talk show monopoly of the Repbulicans. Interestingly though however, after listening to Dr. Savage and using my brain I quit being a lock-step Republican and now consider myself as a Libertarian/Independent awake individual in God's Universe.
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