1. While Eric Clapton may be the greatest living rock guitarist Duane Allman was already there at age 25.
2. The 1993 Dallas Cowboys were, are and will be the most dominant football team ever.
3. If Hillary Clinton walked a mile in polyester pants her thighs would start a devastating forest fire.
4. Sometimes, the perfect fajita marinade and the coldest of beer are better then sex.
5. #4 is rarely true but when it is it is orgasmic
6. Blind Faith is human stupidity
7. The first minute of GNR Sweet Child o Mine may be the most gripping rock ever.
8. The world did not end in 1972
9. Humans are NOT abducted by aliens. However, your sweat socks are.
10. Justin Timberlake--OVERRATED
11. At this point in time in the United States, your vote does not really count. It may technically tally up towards your candidate, but given the choices we have to vote for it is essentially one in the same.
12. #11 just pissed of a lot of patriots, but please refer to Garth Wyndham-Price's cooperative anarchy.
13. The Holy Bible is not entirely Holy nor is it the Gospel as in good news. Just read St. Johns bad mushroom trip in Revelations and you tell me that is good news.
14. The world did not end in 1976
15. G. W. Bush is not as smart as he appears.
16. Competitive farting should be allowed in the Olympics-for God's sake we let synchronized swimming in.
17. Bill Clinton is wanker with a curve
18. Some say Larry King is overrated, but for a 4 year old corpse his work is commendable.
19. The funniest guy on late night talk is the Scottish guy--give the bloke a Guinness and hagas
20. If Jesus was Hebrew why did he have a Mexican name? Huh, makes you think...
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